137.

There isn't much to say here. Except that I realize that I have let myself out of control. I'm losing my mind. Nothing is right, nothing is the same. It seems as though I turn every corner and find something wrong. Lately, school has been hell. I can't seem to make things "seem" easier, (ie math,english) in other words, its as though I'm not "smart" anymore, and my mind basically is only on one thing...eat something! I hate it. I'm so distracted. I can't seem to make a descent grade(A) without failing:( I'm sure none of this makes sense, but it does to me. On the bright side I'm willing to work much harder!  Just about 10 minutes ago I was trying on clothes to what I would wear tomorrow to school, and well I must say, I'm pretty disgusting. My pants are too tight, my shirts are too little, and I just cant bear to look in the mirror. I feel like a totally different person, and I hate it. Ha, the worst part, I weigh 137 pounds. I have NEVER weighed this much in my entire life. I weigh as much as a woman that has had kids! :( I'm beyond lost. Now I know why people hate me; why things are so much harder.. I really do hate myself! Gahh!

xoxo
-T