...Good evening...
I just got home not too long ago from basketball practice. There was something said that arised old memories, thoughts, pain, words,ect. I was called "tubby" Words hurt, especially if you have a sick mind like me.

I'm still alive and kicking, though sometimes I wish I wasn't. I've slowly creeped down into a depression state. All I want to do is sleep...sleep...sleep....and well....I guess never wake up to be honest. I feel worthless, and lazy, and fat, and just a plain screw up... Things seem to always get worse, and the odds are never in my favor. I know this seems weird, but I feel like I'm relaspsing, I want to...I know that's "sick" to say, but I want my old ED life back where people cared, but no one saw that I was wasting away, gahh...it's hard to explain, but I'm tired of ALWAYS eating, and being fat, and lazy, and stupid...I want to change for the better. I've been cut free for about 2 weeks...:) Im actually happy about that, because I hate seeing the scars and feeling the guilt afterwards...
At this moment, I'm speechless and there really isn't much left to say.....

xoxo
-T